I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
