any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize