I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
