Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
