hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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