Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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