...so i touched it.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
