Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
