Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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