He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
