he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
