If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize