You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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