Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
