Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just google imaged poop.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize