I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Im part way to drunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
