how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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