YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize