It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
