i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
