dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
