If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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