He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
