with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
