i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
