I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize