I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
