So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
