What a fucking waste of an outfit
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
