I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
