I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
