In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
