I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
