I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
