it's not cheating when I paid for it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My ATM looks so different sober.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
