i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
