just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize