Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize