I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
