party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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