in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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