it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
