If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
