She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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