Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
