i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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