dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
