He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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