I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Someone came in the potted fern
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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