we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
