batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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