Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
