Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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