i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
