I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
