You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
