I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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