I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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