Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
