my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
