im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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