wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
