Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
