So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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