I'm lost and stupid without you.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
