my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
